EVERYTHING HAS A PURPOSE

Hindi ko alam kung bakit eto ang naisip kong title... heheh...

PURPOSE??? I dont even know what's my purpose of being here.... still breathing...

I am in pain right now..

Stressed..

Frustrated..

But I still have to go on...

Have to move on..

Sabi nga ng bestfriend ko,

"pano ka mamahalin ng ibang tao kung ang sarili mo, hindi mo magawang mahalin??"

Oo nga naman.... Pero naisip niyo rin ba na.... Pano niyo mararamdaman na dapat niyong mahalin ang sarili niyo kung ang ibang tao, hindi kayo magawang mahalin???

Pano niyo masasabi na dapat nga kayong magmahal muna ng sarili niyo??? eh kung ang ibang tao nga, hindi kayo magawang mahalin?? Diba??

Im trying to be strong......

Holding my tears....

Pero this is life....

And I know whats happening right now has a purpose..

Purpose na dapat kong lawakan ang pang unawa sa sarili ko..

At hanapin kung ano ba talaga ang gusto ko..

~out~

im sorry sa nangyari..

hindi ko pa rin alam kung pano at ano ang dapat kong gawin... sorry mark, sa nangyari.. alam ko ddating sa point na tanggap niyo nang mawawala si papa.. at sana nanjan ako para makiramay.. pero ginusto ko naman magpunta pero ayaw mo nmn..

hay.. bukas bday mo pa naman... hindi ko alam kung dapat ko pang sabihin na Happy Bday... dahil sa nangyari.. hay.. nakakalungkot isipin na parang kelan lang nagkita kame ni papa nung nagpunta ko sa inyo... ang payat na niya.. at nanghihina.. pero alam ko, lumalaban si papa para lang maabutan pa rin niya kahit papano ang bday mo... sayang, hindi man lang ako nakapag paalam sa kanya..

kanina magkatext tayo.. nasaktan ako sa mga sinabi mo... hindi ko na alam kung ano pa ang dapat kong gawin..

gaya nga nang sabi ko sayo kanina sa text....

"sinabi mong hindi mo na ko mahal pero tinanggap ko.... sinabi mong magkalimutan na tayo, kahit hindi ko kaya, tinanggap ko pa rin.. sinabihan mo ko ng kung ano ano, tinanggap ko pa rin.. nagbabakasakali ako na baka mag text ka kapag nag send ako ng blank message sayo dahil akala ko nagpalit ka na ng number. tinext ko si kuya, bow at joseph dahil nagbabaka sakali akong alam nila ang number mo if ever na nagpalit ka... "

totoo lahat to... i even texted Tina para lang kamustahin ka... at hingin number mo if ever may bago nga.. pero she never replied...

masakit sa part ko yung mga nasabi mo.. nag sorry ka.. oo.. sabi mo nga sa kin dati, sa mga nagawa kong kasalanan, napatawad mo na mo... ako rin, pinapatawad na kita.. kelangan ko lang na mailabas yung nararamdaman ko kanina kaya nakapag text ako sayo nang ganun...

feeling ko kasi na ginagago mo na ko..

after all you have said, biglang sasabihin mong mahal mo ko, na sorry na...

im not saying na wag mo ko sabihan.. pero just think of what you told me.... na magkalimutan na tayo.. palagay mo, kinaya ko ba? hindi! dahil nagbakasakali pa rin ako.... nagmatigas ka .... nagpaka manhid ka.. pinairal mo na naman ang pride mo... kahit wala na sa lugar.. ako na lang ba lagi ang magpapaka baba?? nasaktan din ako... nasaktan mo ko.. pina asa mo rin ako.. pero sana okay na... okay na tayo ngayon...

kahit ano pa ang mga nasabi mo sa kin, tanggap ko na yun.. basta wala akong ibang sinabi sayo kundi SPACE lang.... SPACE para sa tin dalawa para makahinga ang isat isa.. dahil pareho na tayong nahihirapan... pero wala eh.. SPACE versus mga statements na sinabi mo sa kin......... wala kong mahanap na dahilan para pigilan ang iyak ko.... kanina sa jeep, while I was on my way going here in the office, hindi ko mapigilan ang iyak ko.... napaluha na ko sa sobrang depressed.... nalilito ako...

pero all that I texted you, na andito pa rin ako para sayo... na parte ka pa rin ng buhay ko.. totoo yun! kung ano mang mangyari sa buhay mo, apektado pa rin ako.. dahil nandito kana sa buhay ko eh..

basta! sorry rin sa lahat lahat... I think we really need space.. pero sana yung promise mo na na magwwork ka, please gawin mo! para sa kakabuti mo naman yun eh.. I gave you a lot of advices pano ang gagawin sa interviews! pero inuuna mo kasi ang kaba eh! kaya ayan, walang nanagyari! matalino ka alam ko! kaya please lang! wag mo sayangin! at ayokong magpaka bum ka sa Quezon! please lang! humanap ka nang way na hindi ka nagugutom dahil may sarili kang pinagkukunan nang income, hindi dahil sa may farm ang tito mo.... wag ka umasa sa iba.. gumawa ka nang paraan para sa sarili mo...

12:08 AM na sa relos dito sa PC.....

Happy Bday Mark Anthony Arieta Tesalona...

YOU!!!YEAH YOU!!!!!!

Do I have to write this all over again?? like writing the pain I feel for everything that had happened??... I just read almost all the blog entries I had before.. And I was dissapointed that its happening again.. Yeah.. like Lala said, the never ending dramatic entries...

I'm so full of this shit! I tried to be nice, cool and making myself strong.... pero this guy, texted me saying fucking shit and accusing me that i'm fooling him daw... hell you! i never did anything bad to you! you were mad because I sent you a blank page?? what the! I pitty you so much..

you know what, thanks for making me feel that FEELING again... sayang, wala na si PYAR.. haha!!! gusto mong magkasakitan tayo ha! sige, sakitan na to...

sayang! dahil minahal pa rin kita.. kahit magkasama kame ni joey, ikaw pa rin ang iniisip ko! dahil may feelings pa rin ako sayo... alam mo, siguro kung hindi ko hinayaang mahalin pa rin kita, malamang masaya pa rin ako.. hindi na ko nasaktan ulit. sabi nga niya, bakit pa ko bumalik sa past ko.. alam ko ganun din ang mga sinasabi nila sayo na bakit mo pa ko binalikan.. sana pinakinggan na lang natin sila noh.. pero wala eh.. nagpakatanga pa rin tayo.. hinayaan nating magsama na naman tayo knowing na magssuffer na naman tayo...

I hate the feeling of hating you, you know that?????..... but youre forcing me to....

after 3 years, still we ended badly.. I thought I can make friends with you.. I thought were okay.. but yeah, were not...

i dont know what will happen next...

thanks for ruining my day.. you just accused me without seeing the time when you received the text... mas nauna akong magtext sayo! we had a 10minute break non then nagyoyosi ako... nagpapansin lang ako sayo.. kaya I sent you a blankpage... and so what if you texted me a blank page then i replied you the same??.... does it matter?? huh?? wala namang masama dun ah! you know what, gumawa ka lang nang ikagagalit mo eh.. tama bang sabihin mo sa kin na tinatarantado lang kita dahil akala mo gumanti ako ng pagsend ko ng blank page?? eh mas nauna nga ako eh!!!! naintindihan mo ba yon????!!!!!!!!!!!!!ako ang naunang magtext! at wala ka namang dahilan para magalit eh! dahil walang kwentang issue if I texted you a blank page!

nakakurat ka! tangina talaga.. muntik na nga ako mamatay twice yesterday! first was the jeepney we were riding had a flat tire..... buti na lang nasa gilid kame ng road... kung hindi, malamang nabangga na kame.. at siguro nasa hospital na ko ngayon... suffering.... siguro if nangyari yun, hindi mo ko magaganto... hindi mo ko masasaktan.. wala ka sigurong magagawang dahilan para awayin ako ng walang kakwenta kwentang text! second was i was about to get off the jeepney then nasa gilid din kame ng road non dahil bababa nga ako... then this freakin fx, nakabuntot pa rin sa likod ng jeepney....pagkababa ko, as in ilang metro na lang ang natitira....eh mabilis pa naman ang pagpatakbo niya.. oh diba, what a day!!???!!!!!!!! shit happens... muntik na ko mamatay noh?? haha!!! 7 lives left.. (ano ko, pusa?) ^_^

geeezzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!what a nice day....

well.. to end this shit, i just wanna thank Lala, my bestfriend Maggie, Louie and Rey-my officemates, Jen, Kevin-my bestfriend's bf.... and to those people who cares about me...

I miss my old life... in IBM.. Jarvey was right.. what we have in eBay was the easiest job in all call centers........shit! I regret that I resigned there... But hopefully, i can still be with that company.. and I miss my previous wavemates....

~out~

LALA..

thanks for reading my entries... this is the only time that someone stranger reading my blog.. haha.. well, thanks for the advices.. this would be so hard for me facing my new life ALONE.... i know there are still people who loves me... like my friends and family... but the thing is... PILAY NA ANG BUHAY KO....

Nieko was a great help changing my life.. before, I feel that I am unwanted.. unpretty.. but when he came into my life, it started to change... pero siyempre, were not perfect... nagbabago rin lahat... maybe now, we are destined to separate muna.. magkaron ng space... i'm the one actually who asked him about it.. though its so hard for me to break up with him, i have to do it.. we both suffer from each others behavior... we both need some space.. to breathe new air... refresh.. unwind...

on July 28, 3rd anniversary na sana namen.. quite tough para iwan nalang basta yun diba??

kanina magkatext kame.. actually, una muna akong nagtext before I sleep.. umaga na ako nauwi from work eh.. I texted him like I was saying that I am still here for him.. that I still want him back.. or basta ayoko siyang mawala sa buhay ko.. kahit friends lang muna.. and then pagkagising ko, eto... bumungad sa kin ang napaka worst na text.. he said na we should break our communication at wala nang pakialamanan.. hindi niya alam yung sakit na nararamdaman ko everytime he says that stupid words! it makes me feel more na wala akong kwentang tao.. I cried... cried.. cried.. and cried.. at ngayon.. VWALA!!!!!! ang ganda ng eyes ko!!! namamaga!!!! pakshet...

pero in the end, naging maayos na rin... sa ngayon, though I still care for him, nandito na yung feeling na STOP MUNA TAYO AS FRIENDS.. DAHIL MAKAKATULONG SA TIN TO...

we have a lot of differences.. Cancer siya, ako Virgo.. which never been a COMPATIBLE partners in terms of relationship.. pero kahit ganun.. minahal pa rin namen ang isat isa... siyempre, love is ACCEPTING ONES FLAW....

Love... mahirap na masarap.... pero kapag kelangan na ni KUPIDO na magpahinga... kelangan na ring magpahinga ng puso namen... pakshet ang baduy ko! ......

but to tell you the truth, ayoko siyang mawala sa buhay ko... basta yun na yun.. maging kame man o hindi in the end, basta, ayokong mawala siya sa buhay ko..

~out~

nandito ako ngayon sa office.. napahatid ako sa bestfriend ko at sa bf niya..

nagpunta sila sa bahay dahil sa isang rason..

rason kung bakit ako umiiyak tuwing gabi..

rason kung bakit ako walang gana sa training..

rason kung bakit hindi na ko makapag isip ng tama sa lahat ng bagay..

rason kung bakit ang tingin ko sa sarili ko eh napaka walang kuwenta ko..

.......


hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko..

basta ang alam ko, nagmahal lang ako.
hindi mo naman ako kelangan pahirapan eh..
just tell me kung ano na ba ang gusto mo..
yung huling pagkikita natin nun, planado ko talagang magpunta sa inyo para lang makita kita.. napaiyak ako sa sobrang lungkot at pagka miss sayo.. tapos nakulitan ka lang sa kin sa text, ganun mo na lang ako kung murahin??..

ano na ba ang nangyari sayo?? ano na ba ang meron bakit mo ko ginaganito??

may nagtulak ba sayo para gawin lahat to??

sabihin mo lang, please naman..

kung sa tingin mo nahihirapan ka na,

eh ano pa kaya ang nararamdaman ko..

hindi ko na alam kung ano na ba tayo..

basta alam ko,

mahal kita kaya ganito ako..

pero please lang sabihin mo kung ano na ang gusto mo...

para alam ko kung ano na ang susunod kong gagawin..

mahal kita..

~out~

GUYS!!!! good news!! Im getting off MAKATI and moving to Alabang on Monday!! haha!! I got 86% as my final grade in CCT Training!! GOOD JOB!! ^_^

I gotta lot of things to say but.. I'll just summarize it..

First, I'm missing my Nieko... All the things I am doing is for him.. and also for my family.

ISOLATING MYSELF...

Guys.. hindi ko alam bakit ako nagiging ganito.. whenever I am in a group, at first, masaya ako... jolly, cheerful.. basta all happy!!!! pero kapag matagal na... wala na.. parang ina isolate ko ang sarili ko dahil parang na fee feel kong kakaiba ako sa kanila.... kaya nilalayo ko sarili ko.. parang ayokong masyadong mag stick at ma bond masyado ako sa kanila... Yeah, I am weird... pero ganun eh.. siguro nasanay lang kasi ako na kasama ko si Mark, my boyfriend na mas komportable akong kasama... na halos lahat na eh alam na namin anong meron sa isat isa...

I miss my Nieko... I love you asawa ko!!

~out~

TODAY IS NOT MY DAY!!!!

My gawd! Is it wrong to say that I was an agent before on that company when I contacted them??? I became irate because that agent just suddenly transferred me to her supervisor after saying that I should give her my contact information.

Then, Christian texted me telling "HEY, BAKIT KA NAGCHACHAT??".... Gawd.. eh I lost my password and username eh!!! Tsaka I was only proud to say that I am a former agent of that said account... F**K!

Then Christian said that I was the "topic" on the floor... WHAT THE HELL!!! I wasnt doing anything!! I just want to have my password and thats it!!! She dont have to transfer me!!??!!! RIGHT???!!!!!Thats why I became irate!! F**K!

Well, thanks Christian for informing me what happened....
I dont have any plans again of getting back to that company..

Anyways, lets change topic...

Im beginning to feel this illness everyday... I dont know why... I just dont feel fine as day goes by..

ewan ko....

Basta pipigilan ko na lang maging hot headed.. Im trying to be nice but i dont know why I am doing this to my life... Pero ewan ko...... PRANING........ sheesh!!!

We had this oral presentation a while ago and well, I can say that I wasnt prepared.. really... I have mistakes but not that much.. I had 3 pronunciation errors... Not bad.. but I have to improve it more...

I only had problems with the "at" and "on" making it sandwiched in one phrase... cant explain it here eh.. basta! the note is in my bag and kinda tired to get it... heheh...

out

GETTING USED TO IT...
You will often meet people who's friendly, frank, rude and ... "plastic".....
But me, being the baby of the family, I am more of pampering myself, making cracky jokes just to make papansin and all...
Here, in this profession, we should know how to mingle with other people who's as different as you are...
Yeah, I can be as friendly as you want..I can be frank and honest...But never.. NEVER WILL I BE RUDE with people whom I know that would make things worst...
Yeah, were not perfect...So to people whom I am not having the good vibes, "if you want to make my day rude, just dont say anything.... If you want to say things against me, tell it TO MY FACE"........
I am the pa tweetums...I love making myself being recognized as a jolly person..So dont ever, ever RUIN MY DAY!!!!!
If that's your "goal" each time we see each other, You may want to shit out of the room and be gone for decades!!!
I am so maldita.... Yeah, I can consider myself as a WAR FREAK...But hey, I am working on it..And trying to hide this urge of confronting people...
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I LOVE NIEKO....


N- never will I leave this man
I- I am deeply in love with him
E- Enough to tell everybody that I wanna spend the rest of my life with him
K- Kissable !! (yeah!)
O- Over protective... that makes me feel so secure... ^_^

I am listening to WILL YOU EVER LEARN by Typecast right now..

I can relate to this song..

"I did it all, all for you.. hoping you could see.."



"but you.. you think about yourself... only bout yourself..."


"unlonely nights, romantic moments... the love, the love, what about them.. throw it all away.."

I feel like crying...

I want to faint..

Im so cold...

I want him to show me how much he loves me..

how much he appreciates me..

---

Ang mahirap lang, Im still trying to give time for him though I am busy....

But he's not appreciating it....

What must I do??

Where else should I go???

Parang wala kang GF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lahat na ginagawa ko... pinipilit kong ma text ka kapag nakakatakas ng pag text mula dito sa kinauupuan ko! Pero ikaw?? May effort ka bang ginagawa???..........

Nahihirapan na ko sa ginagawa mo..

Im here in the office.. having our free time to surf other internet browser....

WHile listening to this song.. eto papatak na ang luha ko.....

hindi ko na kaya...

~Out~

falling in love

Falling in love is hard...
For love conquers all...
You have to give up on everything that you have
Just to be with the person you want/love..

It wont take you for like 1 day to realize
that he's the person you want
to be with for the rest of your life..

I, myself....
Honestly speaking,
Had a hard time to realize
that THIS PERSON IM WITH RIGHT NOW
Is worth having my heart..

Heartaches,
sleepless nights,
All of us of course have gone through with these..

But to tell you all,
I would sacrifice everything..
As in EVERYTHING
Just for my NIEKO...

I may not be the most beautiful girl,
I may not be the smartest,
but ....
I CAN BE HIS EVERYTHING for THE REST OF HIS LIFE......

My love for him is priceless...
His my PRECIOUS...

And I dont have to be bothered
because we're too far from each other..
Hey! We're still in the Philippines!
Its only 3 rides from his home getting to mine.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I know this would be CHEESY for me to say but..............

I LOVE HIM MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE...........

I love you NIEKO~

~out~

Why do these things have to happen.. Things happening so fast... same as before.....

Bakit may mga tao na hindi marunong makiramdam...

kahit lahat na ginagawa ko para sa kanya..

He's the center of my life...

But then, hindi niya ko mapahalagahan...

bakit sa dinami dami ng taong gagawa nito, yung mahal ko pa...

WHY??

Why do have to this to me?????
I have done everything,
I have given you everything..
But why cant you see me??
Why cant you focus on me??

Lagi ba magiging ganito??
Na ako lagi ang gumagawa ng effort for us to fix things???
Bakit ako lagi ang talo??
Bakit ako na lang lagi ang kailangang mahirapan??

I wanna be with you, not to make my life miserable..
I love you because I want to inspire my everyday life...
I wanted you, because I know you'll love me back..

I'd give up everything just for you..
I'd do anything just to make our relationship work...

Just show my worth...
Just give me signs that could make me feel that
you love me...
that you want me...
that you need me...

Its been 4 days since I started crying..
Started to finish this off..
BUT HELL NO!!!

I would not risk anything that could make us apart..
I love you so much Nieko....

Please show me how much you love me...

~out~

BEING MALDITA

I dont want to be like this...
I wasnt really like this... yah....really...
I didnt know what happened...


I might be like this.. puro hatred... Pero still... deep down inside of me, theres a bit LOVE growing..

alam ko, hindi naman lahat ng tao kaya akong pakibagayan... at para sabihin ko rin sa inyo, hindi lahat, kaya kong pakisamahan...

Oo, mabait ako kung sa mabait.. Pero pare, wag na wag mo ko pilitin na mag burst... dahil wala akong sinasanto.. wala akong pakialam ke anak ka nang presidente! Wala ko pakialam kung sino ka man basta paglalaban ko kung anong dapat meron akong ipaglaban!

At ikaw, akin ka lang! wag na wag ko nang malalaman na kinakausap mo ang kupal na yon dahil papatayin ko yon sa harap mo! tandaan mo yan!

Oo, ganito ako magsalita. bakit?eh sa galit ako eh! pakialam nila??

Cez, salamat pare ah!Hay nako.. salamat at nanjan ka para itext ako at icheck ako kung okay lang ako... hay! kakamiss ka.. ang mga IMC peeps... thanks for being there... grabe.. daming problems.. daming kakainis na mga tao.... daming daat banatan! hay! tara, isama kita...papatay tayo! wahaha!! ng daga! wahaha!!!!!!!!! just kidding...

Maane, pare! salamat sa lahat! sa mga hirit na walang kupas! sa mga payo mo.. hay nako.....alam mo ba na hindi lang ikaw ang nababaliw sa kakasabi na tigilan ko na ang pagiging ganito??.. wahaha!!! hay nako! basta salamat ha! alam ko naman na hindi nyo ko iiwan eh.. no matter what happen, andito lang din ako...

Jem, dude! hoy! hehe.. wala lang. pasensya na sa mga pag ddramang napaka tindi.. hay nako.. alam mo naman ako eh.. tsk... basta... alam ko naman na hindi niyo ko matitiis ni gela eh.. hehe.. kaya nga love na love ko kayo eh.. hay!

Micah, hey little sis ko..... salamat sa mga advices mo ah... hay! alam mo naman na ganto lang talaga ako eh... pero kahit nga ganito ang ugali ko, love ko naman ang kuya mo eh.. hay... kahit ilang beses pa kame mag away, hindi na ko papayag na maghiwalay pa kame.. hay!


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VOTE WISELY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Parang kelan lang nung hulingnakatapak ako ng public school sa may Bayan ng Sta. Rosa.... kung kelan kasama ko mga magulang ko... Na boboto kame sa mga pinili namen na mga politicians... Ngayon, panibago na naman.... Mas nakakatakot... Mas maraming panahon pa dapat ang pag ukulan....

Sa tingin niyo, lahat ba nang politicians at mga nagttrabaho sa gobyerno ay mga CORRUPT?? alam niyo ba na sa buong mundo ata or buong Asia, PILIPINAS NA ANG NUMBER ONE MOST CORRupT COUNtRY!!!!!!! asa!!!!!!! grabe nakakahiya! Tapos ang dami nilang ina advertise sa ibang bansa na parang napakaganda ng bansa natin... yah alam ko for tourism purposes yon.. Pero hinahayaan ng mga taong nakaupo sa gobyerno na ipahiya mismo ang bansa natin sa pagiging corrupt! Ang LUFEETTTTT NIYOOOOO GRABE!!!!

Sabihin na natin na maganda ang turismo sa bansa natin at madaming pera ang makakapasok dahil dito.... Mga peeps, maganda nga.. Pero tanawin mo ang lansangan sa bandang MAYNILA! ANG SIYUDAD, KAPITAL NG BUONG PILIPINAS!!!!!! ang daming nagkalat na mga taong nakatira sa kalsada!!!!! balikan natin ang napanood ko sa Iwitness kamakailan lang... yung mga taong galing Marinduque... yung mga tira tirang pagkain galing fast food chains na galing na sa basurahan ang kinukuha nila para gawing BATCHOY..... at eto pa, mas pinili nila dito manirahan... dahil sa probinsya nila, puro saging lang ang nahihita nila! Dahil sa siyudad, nakaka palimos sila at eto na ang hanap buhay nila... eh sa probinsya, wala!!!!

Eto na ang sinasabi ko na level ng turismo.. yung kung saan maraming dadayo, doon lang nag fofocus ang mga nakaupong OPISYAL! guys, naramdaman niyo na bang mamuhay ng matagal sa probinsya?? yung as in walang kuryente, wlang tv.... nag iigib lang sa poso.... naranasan ko na yun.. at alam ko kung gaano kahirap mamuhay sa ganitong sitwasyon...

Pero naisip ko na kung eto na naranasan ko eh mahirap, what more pa kaya sa lugar sa bundok na hindi na nadadayo ng mga politicians??.... na may nagiging bayani na doon para lang maging organize ang barangay nila??...maraming bayaning pare, madre at teacher sa mga liblib na bundok na tulad ng sinasabi ko.... na hindi man lang pinakikinggan ng mga OPISYALES.....

Madaming dada lang naman ang mga pulitiko eh.. hanggang sa umpisa lang may pinakikitang gilas.... pero saan ka!?!?!?! ...oo nga at napakaganda ng turismo sa Pinas... marami nman ang naghihirap dahil sa taas ng mga bilihin! marami pang namamalimos! mga walang matirhan! mga taong naghihirap at nagtitiis mamuhay sa kabundukan!... mga batang hindi alam ng gobyerno na sila ay kabilang pala sa dapat marehistro sa bansa!.......

Kaya mga peepz, vote wisely... sabi nga sa commercial.. "SISIGURADUHIN KONG MABIBILANG ANG ISA KONG BOTO...."

~OUT~

POta! nawalan ako nang gana mag post! Tang ina naman talaga!!! nanghihina ako! PUTANG INA TALAGA!!

STARTING A NEW LIFE

Marck 22, 2007- I have finished my degree of Broadcast Journalism at De La Salle University- Dasmariñas.... It was held in PICC at exactly 830am.. great that Abbie was there ^_^

Starting a new life...
New struggles..
New trials...
New people..
New environment..

This is not the end rather a beginning of my new chapter of life...

DREAMING.... the best armor of facing the reality.... Jot down your plans for the future.. And try to achieve it... but dont take things in rush... Just believe in yourself...

Also, I have learned that working and having your salary every 15th and 30th of the month doesnt mean that you are already successful... Money... a sinful thing..

For me, when we say that we are successful, you have your own family, in your own house, filled with love... raising your own career with your goals in life...

Today, I have finished my college life... By April 19- I'll be starting my training in Makati for 2 weeks.... Hope it would be as easy as I had with my former employer...

To all the graduates.. Congrats!!!

Thanks peepz!!!

love you nieko!

~out~

DAMING PROBLEMS PERO DAPAT SMILE PA RIN

Hi guys... ngayon lang ulit ako nakapag post. hmm.. dami akong dapat sabihin... madaming dapat ilagay na hinaing... pero hindi pa ko makapag focus alin ang dapat unahin...

Pero eto na lang....

Kahapon, mass na namen for graduation... I was with my mother, my 3 pamangkins and Mark.. But before that day, sobrang daming nangyari sa bahay.. nandyan na yung away namen ng parents ko dahil sa pagtatalo nang isusuot ko.. Nandyan na yung naisip ko na BAKIT BA KO PINANGANAK SA MAHIRAP NA BUHAY?? Pero later naisip ko, bakit ako magrereklamo eh lahat naman ng to eh pinaghirapan ng magulang ko at paghihirap kong makapagtapos. WIthout my parents, I wouldnt even be here... Kaya gusto ko ring magpasalamat sa kanila.. Though may sama pa rin ako ng loob sa tatay ko. Till now hindi ko pa rin ma feel yung excitement niya sa pag graduate ko. Let's just say na siguro wala lang siyang way para maparamdam yun.. Pero syempre nakakasama pa rin ng loob yun.. Dahil puro gastos, puro labas ng pera.. Alam niyo ba na yung susuutin ko na dress at yung suot ko kahapon eh luma na?? Well, okay lang sana yun.. Pero basta! Madami pang issue about that stuff... Nakakatuwa lang dahil sa pag ddiet ko, masusuot ko pa yung dress na ginamit ko when I had my Junior prom... oh diba COOL???? kasya pa rin sakin! hahah!! dahil sa pag diet....


Gusto ko lang magpasalamat sa mga taong naging part nang buhay ko... mga elementary classmates ko na until now eh may communication pa rin at friends forever pa rin. wahaha, baduy ko! Maane, pare! thanks sa mga advice! sobrang love kita! Two thums up ako sayo kasi youre so strong despite of all the trials youre having right now! Keep it cool man! ^_^


To my bestfriend Maggie, thanks sa lahat! Grabe, kung alam ng lahat yung mga napag daanan natin noh? haha!!! ang dami, as in ang dami! Masaya at hindi maganda... Pero ang mahalaga, nandito pa rin tayo, kahit minsan na lang tayo makapag usap, we still care about each other. Basta! No matter what happens, kaw lang bestfriend ever ko! Mga pare, mare, alam niyo ba na 16 years na kameng mag bestfriend ni Maggie! ^_^ Im so proud to tell that! ^_^

Nieko, malapit na tayong mag 3 years this July... sobrang thankful ako kasi nanjan ka pa rin kahit almost 7 months tayong wala... Thank you sobrang sobra dahil mahal na mahal mo pa rin ako! Mahal na mahal kita! ikaw ang buhay ko! Sobrang walang makakapantay ng love and dedication mo sa kin... as in! Thanks po NIEKO!!!!!!!!!! Lahat lahat gagawin ko para sa future natin! Magsstrive hard ako sobrang sobra para hindi tayo maghirap sa future natin! Im so lucky to have you Nieko! Mahal na mahal kita!

Okay guys... later na lang ako ulit magpopost...... nagtext si Nieko, punta daw kame sa UMC ni Joseph, papakilala kame sa mommy niya! waaaaa!!!!!!!!! kakatakot at the same time kaka excite! waa!! ^_^ mwah! love you all!

ABBIE!!!!! BEFORE I FORGOT!!!!!! HEY! IM SO HAPPY THAT YOU ARE HERE NA FOR OUR GRADUATION! YAHOO!!! BUHAY NA NAMAN ANG FP! I LOVE YOU FOCAL POINT!!!!! MWAH!!!!


~out~

Selfish

I cant explain how to tell you guys how I love Nieko so much.... That I will never let anyone get his attention.. as in no one could take his time, take his attention away from me.. UNDERSTOOD?? So what if you dont care about me you freak.. the hell I care for you, too anyway??!!!! You are just nobody! Got that?? NOBODY!

So dont shit on me coz I aint doing wrong! Dont ever tell me to shut up coz youre just a freak, got that??

3 years na kame ni Mark this July... So I was the first one to have him... NOT YOU! If you have any problems with me, well go ahead! Tell it to my face you dumb pig faced man! Euw!!!!!!!!!

Mark and I will be together in a few months! I swear we will earn money for our future.. This April, I will start my work in Convergys...... Hopefully Mark can get his own work, too...

Getting back with the topic.. Pig faced, dont ever ever tell me to shut up coz the hell I care with you?? Close tayo?? huh?? I was just asking if you were together that night! Dumbfacedpig! GRRR!!!!!!!!!!

~out~

That's LIFE!!!!!

How can we say that we are having a great life????

Have you asked yourself about it??

Bakit kelangan may mga taong hindi pa rin alam ang kahalagahan ng buhay?

Bakit lagi na lang may mga naghihirap?

Bakit may mga taong sagana sa saya.. sagana sa yaman..

Hanggang sa may makita kang mga tao na patuloy na naghihirap at nagdudusa...

I have watched I WITNESS last MondayFeb.19... Its about a family living with a weird kind of status in life. Basta.. ang weird dahil lahat sila, parang walang patutunguhan.... kawawa ang batang si EKANG... na isa sa pinaka bata sa pamilya..

Sana sa mga makakabasa neto, please see to it na pinapahalagahan niyo ang buhay niyo. gawin niyong makabuluhan....

wag niyong aksayahin ang bawat oras ...

gawin niyong masaya... dahil masarap mabuhay.. di natin alam kung hanggang saan na lang tayo..

~out~

THANKS!!!!!

Hey Im back guys! At last, all of my worries are gone now! I just finished my final requirement for my OJT yesterday. I would like to thank Mark for helping me with it! You're so great! I love you! ^_^

I wanna say thank you to all the people who inspired me getting all these things done. Mark, thank you for being there for me. I know you still doubt my love for you.. But I'm telling the truth. Yeah I have hurt you so many times but please forget those stupid things Ive done. Just please give me more time to freshen up and change my attitude.. Pero please, makibagay ka rin naman sa kin.. Dont tease me or anything that would hurt my feelings please!!!!! Yan, nabubugbog tuloy kita.

Weird reasons why I still wanna stay friends with you:
1. Weve been together for like 2 years
2. You know all about me
3. Youve been my bestfriend, brother and a father to me
4. You know how to make me laugh
5. You know how to make me feel sad and angry
6. You were the first guy I cried so hard when we broke up
7. You were the first guy I almost die whenever we fought
8. You know how to make me fall asleep while I sit on your lap and bend on your shoulder
9. We both know how much food we can eat
10. God knows how much I love you..................................................................


Mark, I know weve been through a lot of pain... But things change, so are we.. But my feelings for will never fade. Yup I know I am so selfish.. I only think for my own sake. Pero kahit nagkaron tayo ng gap, my feelings never fade. I swear! Hay! I do wish na maniwala ka sa kin. I miss you so much... And I am so happy that weve spent the whole night together making "lambing lambing"... Hay! Thanks sa lahat lahat ng sacrifice mo para sa kin. Lahat na napatunayan mo na sa kin.. Hay... Just give me space para maging maayos na ako.. I promise I'll marry you kapag wala ka ang girlfriend.

I love you....

OKAY BA????

formal shot ko of my graduation picture

pinanindigang Indian talaga

Partida, yung formal shot ko, umiyak pa ko bago nagpa picture. haha!!!!

Hi guys! Andito ako sa dasma. Nagbayad ako kahapon ng tuition fee ko eh.. heheh.. Tapos ngayon nagpasukat na ko ng toga! Nice! hehe.. astig! feel na feel ko nga eh.. hehehe!! ^_^ umm nagkita rin pala kame ni Joey sa Apt. nagpunta kasi ako dun, tapos sabay kame nag lunch din.. Takaw nga namen eh.. Medyo hindi kame nakapag usap kasi may "ilang" effect sa min. Ewan ko ba. Totoo lang, I still love him.. Hindi ko naman agad makakalimutan yung napagsamahan namen eh. Tska 10 months ko na siyang mahal. Waa! Pero eto, bigo pa rin.. wala naman ako magagawa kung hanggang dun na lang kame. Pero eto lang masasabi ko, Love ko pa rin si Pyar.. Yun lang. Hay!

Hirap nang ganito.. Pretending to be fine pero sa loob loob ko, wala na, bagsak na.. Hirap talaga...

At eto pa, namimiss ko rin si mark.. Pero wala na, hanggang dun na lang din talaga kame.. Mahirap kung pareho namen issacrifice yung relationship kasi lagi kameng nagaaway..

Buhay nga naman! Reality bites.. Hay nako...

~out~

KALOKOHAN

John joe's cap

Rb, tambay sa eskenita

New shades! Were going to

GAMEWORKS to have a shoot for IAGT

Hindi na ko pinauwi ni nanay dahil gabi na.. Ayun.. Ako lang pala ang babae na matitira dito sa office.. Akala ko naman, iinom kame.. Ehehe.. Sayang! Feel ko pa naman ang uminom.. Tsk tsk.. Hehehe.. ^_^

~out~

MAAGA AKO NGAYON


I just got here in the office.. Ang aga ko grabe! Buti kahit puyat, nakatulog naman ako sa byahe.. Hmm... Umuwi ako sa bahay namen kasi I had to bring new clothes for tonight but I think hindi ako makakapag sleep over here kasi pinapauwi ako ni nanay. Anyway, ayun.. Kahapon, our first stop was at Greenbelt 3 (People's Place) where AXE CLICK launching was held there. I saw Ate Mau there (sister of Ap, a Comm Arts tropa). Cool! Nagsama sama ang mga taga La Salle! Haha!! Then there were some discussion about Scents and Perfumes of a person ang how you could know that it is "bagay" to him/her.. Gets??.. Ang host for that event was DJ Mo Twister.. Hmmm.. what can I say about him..... Hmm.. he's simple.. Relax lang..

After that, I went ahead to IBM to have my resignation cleared.. Well, ayun, buti andun yung TL namen.. Andun dun si Jarvey! Tapos ngayon pa lang ako naka kuha ng clearance. POCHA! Akala ko pa naman naipasa na ng tao na yun sa HR yung letter of immediate resignation ko eh wala pa! Ayun.. Hay!

Sabay kame nakauwi na Jarvey. I missed that guy.. IMPERNEZZZZ... haha! Ayun, kwentuhan... Then nagpalibre pa ang bruho! Hahaha!!!I am excited to be cleared para makakuha ng BACK PAY! Wahaha!!!!! Its almost 10k daw sabi ni Jarvey. hehehe.. Nice!

Last night...

Marthy (my ex) went to our house.. wala lang.. tumawag kasi siya.. Eh gusto raw niya kong makita. hehe.. Ayus! Ayun, tamang yosi lang.. Tapos kwentuhan..

Ewan ko ba kung bakit ba lagi na lang yun bumabalik sa ki pag wala na siyang girlfriend.. Well, pareho kame ng status at ng months na wala nang girl/boyfriend.... 4 going on 5 months.. Ayun.. Hmmm.. my comment???....... Hmmm................. Actually, ayoko pa talagang mag boyfriend ulit. Now I realized what Pyar means about "not yet ready for a commitment"..... Well although I knew about it before pero alam mo yun??.... Basta! Parang natatakot akong pumasok na naman sa isang relasyon lalo na pag kilala mo yung sarili mo when it comes to LOVE..."is this love, is this love, is this love, is this love that I'm feeling"... haha!! May kanta pang kasama eh noh?.. Ahaha! ^_^

ENJOY KA LANG DAHIL SINGLE KA

For me, nag eenjoy ako sa pagiging Single... 5 months na nga diba.... Well, minsan lang talaga nakakaramdam ako ng pagkalungkot. lalo na kapag nababalewala ako ng taong mahal ko.. Mga taong importante sa kin pero parang hindi ako importante sa kanila. Pero naiintindihan ko naman yun eh. Wala naman ako magagawa kasi may kanya kanya kameng buhay.

Nagagawa ko mga bagay na gusto ko.. Walang kumokontra or nagagalit kapag nakikipag usap ako sa ibang lalake, may ka text akong ibang lalake.. Alam mo yun??.. Pero minsan, nakakamiss yung mga away na yun.. Kasi maiintindihan mo na nagseselos siya kasi HE DOESN'T WANT TO LOSE YOU.... That's it!

Hay.... pero nakakmiss din yung.. May ka text ka lage.. Alam mo yun??.. Yung laging may nag iinspire sayo..... Hay! Kaka inggit yung ibang tao na lage siyang naka smile whenever may nagttext sa kanya. heheh.. Ayoko namang gayahin na ngingiti sa cellphone ko ng wala naman akong natanggap na text, mukha kong sira ulo nun! Hahaha!!! =)

O siya siya...... Time to go now! Bubye!!!!

~out~

AT THE CUISINE

Call Time is 10 pm but we went to THE FORT at 11 pm. John Joe, Bubbles, Ketchup and Borgy with his girlfriend were all there already. We were there to have a shoot for John Joe' s segment which is GIRL TALK .

Well, we all had a San Mig Light ordered by Borgy. I got to see Sarah Chistoffer, the dancing model for MAXX candy and Richard Gutierrez.. Some people might be models in the place.

Well, very tiring coz we got here in the office at 3 am . Cool right??...

This is a great experience having my OJT at Ideal Minds... Haha.. Not to mention the celebrities that I could meet every production days! haha!!!

I wanna thank Ella and Kuya Jeff for taking care of me. hehehe.. Ako lang kasi ang practitioner tonight. Ayun..

Well.. This is what you call LIFE WITHOUT WORRYING....... hahaha!!!Yeah I'm enjoying my life right now. Unlike when I used to work in a call center.. NAME IT! Grrrrr..... lahat na ata nang depression naramdaman ko na! hahaha!!!!!!!

Cool John Joe.. Marunong siya talaga magdala ng segment... Yeah.. I am starting to like this guy.. hahah!! mwah!!! A VERY SWEET KISS FOR YOU JOHN JOE! hehehe.... mmmmwaaaaahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Time to go to bed now. I am still here in the office. Got to wake up at 9 in the morning! ^_^ We have to prepare for our shoot at 11 am. Good luck! hahaha!!!

see yah guys! More stories after this.. hehehe.. ^_^ mwah!

PLANS:

• Gotta have a picture with Ketchup, Bubbles and Borgy
• Gotta go to IBM after the first production

~out~

WALANG TAYTOL

Eto ang madalas namin gawin pag walang production sa IMC.. Hay! Mga sunog baga! hahah!!

yosi pa tayo Dude! Astig!

With Jay and Arvie sa labas ng building

With Kuya Yong sa Conference Room

Where will I start??... Umm.. 6 am na kame nakatulog.. My phone alarmed at 8:30 am but Ella wake me up at 9 :30 am. Haha!! One hour ang na adjust para lang mapasarap ang tulog. Ayun.. Monday ngayon so may meeting ang staff with the Big Bosses.. Ang dami naming mga interns as in! Nagsama sama kame dito! Hahaha!!

Kagabe

"Len, maghanap ka naman ng magandang girl na pwedeng isama sa OBB naten".. Sabi ni Kuya Jeff..

"Ehem.. Ehem! "

"Ah, yun ba yon? Nagpaparinig?"..

Tinawagan ko si Sis.. Sabi ko sana siya na lang ang isama .. kaso may pasok siya eh! Sayang..

"O siya Len, ikaw na lang ang isasama." .....

"Talaga!?!... Sige ba!"..

KANINA

Natutulog ako.. zzzzzzzzzzzzz.........

"Len, halika na! Baba na tayo. Mag shoot na tayo para sa OBB"..

"Ha? Kasama ako?"

"Oo, kelangan ka na sa baba."

Haha!!! Ayus ba?.. Kulit noh!?! Actually, hindi yan talaga ang napag usapan namen, pero almost un na rin ang sinabi ni kuya Jeff nung nag uusap kame. heheh..

Ayun, pagdating ko sa baba, nag park si John Joe nang car ni Kuya Jay5.. Ayun. Bale para sa OBB ng Christmas Episode for 3rd Season ng Its a Guy Thing.

Pinaupo ako sa loob ng auto.. Tapos ayun, si Ketchup ang makakasama ko... Cool nga eh. Pagka pasok niya sa car...

KETCHUP: "Hi......Ketchup" (inabot niya ang kamay ko).. Totoo ba ito??..

"Sensya na ah, amoy pawis na ko.. nagbilad kame sa araw kanina eh".. pahabol niya.

Parang,.... owkhey.. si Ketchup, nakipag shake hands sa kin?.. Waa!!! hahaha! Astig!

Tapos ang sequence, nasa loob kame ng car. Tapos yung window nakasara.. Makikita dun yung reflection nila John Joe, Bubbles and Borgy. Tapos bababa yung window. Pagkababa, parang dudungaw si Ketchup tapos mayamaya after 4 seconds, I'll pull him paloob na naman. Ayun...

AFTER TAKE ONE.

BORGY: "Give him a kiss..."

ME: "Huh? Kiss?"

BORGY: "Come on, only on the cheek."

TAKE TWO...

DIREK: "Okay, after 3 seconds, hilahin mo si Ketchup but after that, kiss mo siya sa cheek."

No way! haha!!! Di ko ginawa noh. Tska sinabi ko kay Ketchup yun, sabi niya hilahin ko na lang raw siya..

Ang kulit nga eh.. Naka four takes kame ata.. Yung huli ang kulit ni Ketchup. mmm.... He almost hugged me pero lokohan lang.. then later after that take..

KETCHUP: "Uy, sensya na dun ah, lokohan lang yun.."

Like hello KETCHUP! OKAY LANG! hahaha!! Sana totoo na lang! wahaha.. ^_^ kidding..

Ayun.. mga kalokohan lang namen.. haha!!! At least, na expose ako! weheh.. Sayang nga lang, wala kame picture ni Ketchup inside the car. Sana na post ko dito. Tsk..... Pero madami pang times na makikita namen siya, si Borgy at si Bubbles. Si John Joe lage andito yun! Kakasawa! Hahaha!! Pero ayus lang, nagkaka usap na naman kame. Simple lang siya.. Tamang chill lang. Hehe.. Buti nga hindi siya yung tulad ng ibang celebrity na maarte.... May food budget kasi kame. Tapos sa McDo kame kumain last night.. wala siyang reklamo.. Hindi tulad ng iba na gusto pa sa mamahaling resto. . . .

The funny thing happened last night was when the coverage was done, we were walking na diba??.. pupunta na kame sa McDo nun.. May humabol na mga girls na magpapa picture sa kanya eh nasa Parking lot na kame tapat ng TEATRINO.. Kakatuwa lang kay John Joe na hindi siya suplado. Talagang hinintay namin yung mga girls then yung Segment Producer namen ang nag take pa ng picture! Haha! Nice noh??... Kulit! Ang dami nila kayang girls.. Parang mga nag celeb hunt ata yung mga yun dahil awards night nga sa Cinema 1..... Hahah!! Wala lang... share lang..

NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN

BITTER....

I have talked to Sir Gary, one of the head writers of IMC.. We are close now kaya we always talk and share things about life.. shitty stories of mine.. haha!!!

He told me to move on... Get another guy to love or to pay attention with.. Well, its easy to do .. But the thing is.. YOU ALL KNOW HOW I COMMIT MYSELF WHENEVER I FALL IN LOVE.

Wala naman talaga sa kin yun eh.

Yeah, time to move on.. Things have changed already.. Shitty things had happened while we did not see each other.. Dont get me wrong about the term I used. What I meant was shitty things.. like stupidity.... you know.... Ayun..

But I still wanna say THANK YOU.. you know who you are.. THANKS for being there with me whenever I needed someone.. lalo na nung mga times na sobrang depressed ako dahil sa metrics ko sa CSAT sa work. Tsk. Thanks talaga ah..

Thanks din to Arvie, Jay and Sir Gary dahil you opened my mind about those issues... You really helped me a lot guys! Haha!!

O siya, time to go now. Later na lang ako ulit mag bblog! hehehe.. ^_^

~out~

STAR STRUCK at the Awards Night of Cinema 1

OMG!!!!!

Eto ang pinaka unang pre production na nakasama ako.. Dito pa sa Awards Night! wahah!! I saw Iyah, Zanjo, Mark Gil, Jackylin Jose, Meryl Soriano, Miko Palanca with Bea Alonzo, Piolo Pascual, Bianca Gonzales, Geoff Eigennman and his mother, Empress and Denise, etc. And!!!!! OF COURSE! Si John Joe na kasama namen. haha!!! Sa labas lang kame nag shoot para sa 3rd season ng Its A Guy Thing.. Dun lang kame kasi yun lang ang part na kukuhanan namen, plus yung mga celebrity! OMG! Kasama pa kame sa extras.... Weh! Watch out for it on December. hehehehe.. Napa extra pa kame. That's why I love Ideal Minds. Hindi nila nalilimutan i-extra ang mga interns. hahaha!!!!!

Kinapalan ko na mukha ko!

Nilapitan ko si Iyah while she's outside talking with her colleagues. Tapos si Zanjo (correct ba spelling?).... Then I had this feeling na nainis talaga ako. When I saw Mylene Dizon with her hubby na papasok, kinausap pa nga kame eh, tapos ayun, sabi ko after "umm, pwede po picture??" Then she just nodded but never looked at my camera.. GEEZZ!!!!!!! I used to like her pa naman. FORGIVE ME! I hate her now.. She's pretty, yeah... But the fact na alam kong celeb ka nga pero youre snob pala.. THEN GO! sana hindi mo na lang ako totally pinansin. hahah!! I am so mean.. WTF!

~PICTURES~

With John Joe Joseph

With Iyah, so pretty...

Zanjo, my new boyfriend! haha!!

Na star struck sa kin.. haha!!

TAKE IT EASY

Reality Bites... yun lang ang masasabi ko.. Yeah, lahat naman tayo yun ang sinasabi..

Bakit?

-Dahil kahit anong pilit mong makuha ang isang bagay, may mga hindi maiiwasang pangyayari na hindi mo talaga makukuha.. Gets nyo?

-Dahil sa tuwing may gusto kayo, hindi mapa sa inyo..

-Dahil lagi na lang tayong nasasaktan dahil sa mga bagay na katangahan lang..

-Dahil hindi natin matanggap ang katotohanan....

Kaya eto, nagpapaka senti na lang lage.. Hay. Medyo tanga lang siguro ako..

Ah! Baka sabihin masyado lang kasi akong nagmamadali.. Hindi kaya! .... Kala niyo lang yun..

Ayoko pa rin naman ng commitment mga peepz... Ang sa kin lang, masyado lang akong nagmahal.. Alam naman ng lahat yun eh. Kaso di ko lang talaga ma control ang sarili ko .. Kaya eto, sakit.. hehehe.. Pero ayus lang.. Basta stay tropa naman kame eh.. Diba?? Yung friendship lang naman ang habol ko eh.... sa ngayon.. at sa darating na mga araw pa..

Nagpapaka busy na lang ako sa OJT ko para walang hassle.. heheh.. Pero wala pa rin naman kasing masyadong ginagawa eh.. Kaya ayun.. Mamaya may shoot daw kame.. Goodluck sa kin.. dito ako matutulog. Di ko pa alam kung sino mga kasama ko.. May dalawang dumating dito pero di ko sila kilala...

Isang Segment Producer ng Its A Guy Thing at yung isa eh sa La Salle din nag aaral.. Hmmm.. Mukhang suplada eh. Pero wa pake.. Maganda ako.. hahaha!!!

Eto na si Mike, nasa MRT na.. tunog ng tunog ang cellphone ko... ayoko na magreply.. nakakawala ng gana mag post pag ganun eh. hehehe.. sensya na friend.. Bilisan mo na! Para yosi bonding na tayo. heheh.. Kasi naman bakla ayaw mo pa mag overnight dito eh. Tsk..

Balik tayo sa aking kwento ng buhay..

Hay.. Lapit na ako maka graduate. Nampucha, di ko alam kung pano na naman ako magttrabaho.. Parang pag naiisip ko yung mga training namen sa previous work ko, ayoko na! Tsk.. nakakatamad.. Plus, very tiring.. heheh..

Do you like my blog, guys!

Hahah!! THANKS GEORGE SA "complement" mo.. hehe.. TEACHER ka dyan. heheh.. ^_^

Till here! I love MIGGY!!!!!Woohooo!!!!

~out~

Its a Guy Thing

I had my first OJT schedule for Ideal Minds Corporations last Monday and its not that tiring.. Actually, we had nothing to do but to sit and watch TV in the office.. hehehe.. Pero we saw Ketchup, Borgie Manotoc and John Joe.. I didnt see Bubbles eh.. Ayun..

I met Rb, Tony was also there, si Lory and Jhay.. They are all Comm students.. good thing eh puro taga la salle dasma kame.. we often see each other sa corridor.. heheh.. ayun..

Anyways, for my second day, eto medyo haggard sa paghithit ng yosi.. heheh.. may nagawa na rin ako for the first time!!!! aaaahhhh!!!! inutusan ako makipag coordinate sa mga schools for schedules sa mga interviews for MTV Homecoming.. ayun...

i miss you

I am missing this guy so much right now... Whenever I see our pictures on my phone, for sure, a tear will fall.. I really miss this guy so much that I wanted to hug him so tight when I'll see him again.. Ugh!!!!!

I know that you are not into commiting for a relationship right now.. Yeah, me too... But for now, I just hope that nothing will change.. Nothing will fade....

I still love you and I will always do..

~out~

wahahahaha....

seeing myself alone

I'm here alone sa ICT shop.. wala lang.. Pyar just went home na. He left me na. heheh.. ayus lang.. Nagkasama naman kame ng mejo matagal kaya ayus lang. Ayun.. mmm..... Naisip ko, 21 na ko.. Single and happy.. Yup, I'm happy.. contented.. pero parang may kulang yung kasiyahan na yun.. Pero naisip ko rin na okay pa rin maging single. Bakit? Kasi like kagabi, I went out with Tonie, no one cares, no one dares to get mad or anything that I'll get worried na may magagalit sa kin dahil I went out with a guy. Si Pyar, tinanong lang kung sino kasama ko pero wala lang yun, he just asked me about it. Nothing more..

Naisip ko kagabi, I'm a bit confused. I don't know why. I am in love with a guy (you know who he is) ... Pero a bit confused .. Ewan ko ba kung bakit pa ko kelangan ma confuse eh alam ko naman kung hanggang san lang kame.. Hay! Pero ayun... sabi naman niya, masaya naman siya nang ganito kame... which ako rin, masaya.. Pero syempre, hindi mo pa rin maiiwasan na magtanim ng onting tampo, diba?? Kasi parang naka hang ang relationship namen. Pero I'm not saying that I want to be his girlfriend or what... Siyempre, hindi mo pa rin maiiwas sa kin na umasa.. which napaka mali nun..

Seeing myself alone..... no one loves me.... no one wants to be with me.. alam mo yung feeling nang ganon?? na parang ma fe feel mo na parang napaka panget ko ba?? para walang magkagusto??... ayun.. ganun ang nafe feel ko talaga minsan eh.. wala lang... ganito na talaga ako.. hehehe....

Right now, I'm alone here nga.. waiting for nobody... wala lang.. enjoy ko lang tong mag isa na nag co computer.. Listening to BURIED A LIE- Senses Fail... I am missing now my Pyar.. hay!

Umm... na miss ko si Joey... hehehe.. wala lang. ummm... sana nga na miss mo nga ako! HMP! Kagigil! hehehe..... miss ko na rin si Nay! waaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love you Nay!!!!!!

mwah! I love you Pyar!!!!

~out~

Time to move on

Dito ko sa office... just filed my immediate resignation.. hehehe... tigas ko nga kasi andito pa ko sa office eh wala naman akong pasok, off ko kasi eh.. hehehe.... umm.,. im just waiting for Tonie- my former soon to be boyfriend dapat way back 4 years ago. hehehe.. ayun.. kaso mamaya pa ata sya. pero hatid naman daw nya ko kaya ayus lang..

Time to move on dahil eto, tapos na ang madalas kong sabihin sa Pyar ko.. na naffrustrate na ko sa trabaho ko.. MOving on .. eheh.. matatapos na rin ang paghihirap ko sa kakaisip ko sa mga metrics ko.. nakakapagod din noh.. eh ayun..

masaya na rin ako dahil OJT na ko....

ITS A GUY THING

Please watch for it guys every Friday at Studio 23 - 9 pm. ^_^

Joey, sa Ideal Minds ako mag OOJT .. ayan na, sinagot ko na tanong mo kung saan ako mag OJT ah.. Hindi pa kasi sure yun eh kaya di ko pa masagot.. eto,surprise! sa IMC nga ako.. kala ko sa Homecoming ako. sayang nga eh.. pero ayus lang! ^_^ si John Joe ang kasama namin.. hay!

Oh sige! Till here! ^_^

~out~

Damn so tired of my life right now.

I have learned my lessons.. Never ever do anything that will make you more suffer.. Dealing with people whom cannot appreciate your efforts for them. Its so unfair that even if you wanted to help them, I just can't. Why do I have to suffer!?! I want to resign now. Its making me feel worst!

DAMN SO IN LOVE...

Krrr...... Hmm..... I just talked to Pyar sa phone when I got home.. Yep, I only had 4 hours sleep but its fine with me. Siyempre, I got time to talk to my Pyar.. He made me feel happy naman kanina.. Ayun.. I was texting this other guy, whom I have loved before.. Well, yes, he's my ex bf.. Ayun, we had an argument about my past.. That has to be erased! Pero he still brought it up just because of my damn question! Hay.. Why do these things have to happen?? Siguro God still have better plans for me.. I went out on a relationship that did not work and I have my Pyar right now whom really makes feel special.. And I am satisfied..

I'm happy he came into my life.. I love him so much.. Not to mention the things we have shared.. He's my man.. well, sort of.. dahil hindi pa kame.. hopefully in the future. We still have to know more about each other. We have a lot of things in common, but still, may mga difference pa rin. But the more I spend my time, my day with him really brings my life brighter wanting to spend my entire life with this guy.. hehehe.. drama..

He's now my reason for living.. One of my streghts.. It just happened na we both had a bad relationship before kaya parang we still have to move on with that. Kaya eto, still waiting for the right time. Pero I'm still not sure about it.. Dahil marami siyang makikilala for sure that is greater than me. Haha, great ba ko?? ^_^

I love you..
I have a lot of reasons why..
The way you dress,
They way you smile,
The way you stare....
Everything about you!

Reality bites...
I have to face the truth..
Nothing else can compare the great love youve had with her, I know that.
But I know, someday, somehow, I can give you the very best that I have.

Thanks for being there for me. I am so in love! With you..
My life will never be like this if you're not here. I would just like to thank you for accepting me for who I am, and who I was.. Love you! mwah!

Salamat din kasi andyan ka to support me.. mwah!

~out~

Blooming!!!!

heheh.. Eto ang sabi ng mga kasama ko sa work.. mmmm... I just told them .. "wala eh.. in love".. Hehehe.. Ewan ko ba.. Iba talaga nagagawa ng Ponds.. heheh.. Nag endorse daw ba..

Umm... Ano ba masasabi ko..

Yun! Medyo nagkaron ng gap again sa bahay.. I was about to cry when that happened. Ewan ko if i should tell it here pero sawang sawa na talaga ako.. Gusto ko na umalis dito.. Dito sa bahay, sa trabaho.. Everywhere na makikita ko ang tatay ko.. I don't really hate him.. Pero he's one of my "fear" na parang everytime na may nagagawa ako, lalo pa niyang pinapalaki.. lalo pa niya ko dino down.. kaya eto, ganto na ko lumaki.. Kaya masanay na kayo na ganto ang ugali ko na masyado kong negative sa sarili ko kung mag isip..Hay! Sabi ko nga, si Pyar lang ang nakakapag palakas ngayon sa kin.. Hay!

Yeah.. I am in love! heheh... Is this love, is this love, is this love, is this love that I'm feeling!!! hehehe...... Eto yung kanta ko sa kanya nung Summer Class pa.. hehehe.. I heard this song sa shop when I was thinking of him.. Eto yung song na na-i play dun.. mmmmmm.. I was with Gela then... Hay! Miss ko na rin yung bruha na yun!

Speaking of friendship.. Hay, miss ko na rin ang besftriend ko! Maggie!!!! waaaa!!!!!! hindi na natin na icontinue yung November Routine natin na manood nang Scary shows!!! I hate it!!! mmmm..... Pero ayus lang.. Bawi na lang tayo some other time.. hehehe..

You can say that I am addicted to love with Pyar right now....

I am so happy being with this guy. Although just spent the whole friendship for like 6 months.. But knowing that I have him.. I have a friend like him beside me will never gonna make me ask for more !

I love you Pyar! mwah!

I was with Joey here.. Having our first picture for the day! heheh.. He picked me up at work.. And to tell you the truth, it's so kilig on my side! My gawd! hehehe...

Things bothered us alot...

Yeah, I like him...

I love him...

Not knowing what is the status of our relationship for now.

Well, yeah.. I still don't want to have a commitment.

Just like what he's telling me always.

I still want to enjoy my 4 months being Single! ^_^

hay.. bakit ba ganito?? I am so happy whenever I see him, whenever I 'm hugging him... whenever I'm kissing him.. Hay! He's now my REASON to survive! hahah!! I know.. I have said this before to my ex that he's my strenght.. everything.. ow mah gawd! that was before..

and now, this is my present love story.. and I hope that it would be my forever love story.. I wish this will never end.

Hay! I was so happy talaga nung thursday! hahah... kakakilig! kahit sobrang hindi na ko nakatulog that day, dahil I was with him, ayun, okay lang.. mmm..... Tapos ayun, nainggit ata yun lalake na yun, gusto rin magka shirt ng BJ shirt.. ayun, eh dalawa yung ganun ko, binigay ko yung isa.. yung akin talaga.. mmmm.... tapos tumawad pa! gusto may pabango pa yung shirt! heheh.. astig! uuuuyy! gusto niya ko lagi maamoy! heheh...

pyar! may bago na kong amoy! mmm... sana magustuhan mo!^_^ heheh..

I miss you po! I love you Pyar!

~out~

Just got done with my shift.. hay. dito pa rin ako sa room.. wala lang.. maya pa ko uwi sa dasma.. kasi baka masyado ko mapa aga... ayun..

Nagtext nga pala si Mark sa kin.. wala lang. Basta.. hindi ko na alam kung pano pa dapat magreact sa mga nangyayari sa buhay namen.. pero I think the best way for us is to stay as friends... kelangan ko pa mag move on.. kelangan rin niyang magpahinga sa mga pananakit na nagawa ko sa kanya... hay! eto kelangan kong pasayahin ang sarili ko para lang hindi ko maisip na nag iisa ako..

i didnt know that I was hurting you....
kala ko masaya na ang lahat dahil wala ng giyera sa mundo natin.....
ang sa kin lang, hindi naman sa umiiwas.. kailangan ko lang ng panahon para makapag isip isip.
hindi kita iniwan dahil sa hindi na talaga kita mahal..
at hindi ako ang mismong nangiwan, diba?
sumunod lang ako sa gusto mo.. pero iba ang inisip mo, inaway mo pa ko.. inisip mo na pinagpalit kita. eh ikaw? hindi mo ba naisip na PURO SARILI MO LANG INIISIP MO nang iwan mo ko? diba? pero ayus lang.. at least pareho na tayong malaya..

lahat nang tao natutuwa dahil pareho nila tayong nakikitang masaya.. pero kala lang nila yun. may mga panahon na naiisip din naman kita eh.. kaso pinipigilan ko yung feelings ko dahil ayoko muna dahil baka masaktan na naman kita. At ayoko na naman mangyari yun dahil baka mag away na naman tayo.. sana naiintindihan mo ko.. sana alam mo mga pinagsasabi ko.. salamat sa lahat ah.

alam mo naman na hindi pa rin naman kita kayang kalimutan eh.. weve been together for almost 2 years. mahirap kalimutan yun.. lalo na kung madaming nangyari. kaya ngayon, para pareho natin malimutan ang past, please understand na kelangan kong gawin to.. naiintindihan mo naman ako, diba?

alam mo naman na hindi maaalis yung nandito eh.. alam mo yun.. pero hindi lahat ng bagay eh kailangang naka stick sa isat isa... kung hindi talaga magkasundo kahit onting bagay lang, dapat lang na maghiwalay na diba? pero hindi ko sinasabi na forever magkakalimutan na.. hindi naman ako ganun eh. I still make it a point na parte pa rin ng buhay ko yung past ko. naging masaya man o malungkot..

it does not mean that when I say I HAVE MOVED ON, taken for granted ka na.. hindi yun.. ikaw pa... sa masasaya na nangyari sa labas ng Mama Maria Dorm ko.. yung habbulan every night hanggang madaling araw. Yung maghihintay tayo ng 12 am sa labas ng dorm pag monthsary natin.. yung pag alaga mo sa kin pag may sakit ako.. lalo na nung may bulutong ako.. tska yung pag tyaga mo sa kin at sa kalat ko nung nalasing ako at sobrang suka ko... you know what, naging maswerte ako dahil naging part ka nang buhay ko..

sino ba naman ang hindi sasaya sa pagkakaroon ng bf na tulad mo na kahit pagalitan na sa bahay ng mga magulang, nandyan pa rin sa tabi ko, nagpupuyat sa editing house para sa project ko.. Nagttyaga sa mga kagagahan ko.. hay..

teka.. tama na muna ang kadramahan.. nagaalburuto na si Jyx... hehehe... mya na lang..

~out~

hi there people.. I am having my break now.. last break actually. Listening to Ghost OF You.. So cold in here! S***.. Hay. I was able to chat with Pyar kanina. Then kay kuya Lance din but I think he was doing something kanina.. away from computer daw eh.. mmm. what were you doing KUYA???... :D

Then si Pyar, he was disconnected. Thats so weird that after I texted him that he's still on line (status), it changed suddenly.. Naging Off line.. mmmmmm.....

(Stars- Callalilly) I am listening to this right now.

Today is Sunday na!!!! waaa!!!!! Sobrang bilis ng araw. Hay.. Ano kaya gagawin ko sa off ko?? mmmm... Gusto ko bumili ng stuff ko kaso I have to keep my money.. I just gave my mother P600.00 to buy sack of rice and I also have to give another 600bucks for my phone bill. Gawd! Im so stress sa work.. what more if I am thinking with all of these payments I have to pay! Shoot!!!!! (&&*%$%$ #&)

Nga pala, I almost forgot to tell you guys that I saw my ex bf. He's Joy. Of course he's a HE... He was my boyfriend when I was a bit immature.. hahaha!! that's right! I was only 3rd year high back then.. He was his girlfriend when I saw them going in the van at the terminal. Sakto pa naman that the van they will ride eh same van ko din! Kunwari I was not aware that they were there.. I was just texting Pyar and Maggie when I got in the van.. Tapos konting paeklat na "Oi, ano ginagawa mo dito?" Then he answered "Oi, san ka nagtatrabaho?".. Then I answered it.. Then pinakilala niya ko sa GF niya.. Her name is Rica. .. DONT CARE.. HAHA.. Kidz...

Then ayun, nanlalambot ako that I felt I was melting. Wala lang.. Though they werent doing anything from me pero the fact that you saw your ex with his new one! I do know that you will also feel what I felt, right? Though I dont love anymore... You can still feel that numb feeling running through your veins right? Especially when you see them both happy..

Pero not to mention how happy they were that they didnt care about us inside the van, like they were the only people inside! They were hugging and kssing and..... talking.. hahaha!!! Pero its irritating my ears!!! They talk so loud that I was having the like to kick her big mouth.. hahah.. I am so mean.. what the!

Then ayun, I was texting Maggie.. yah, were sisters talaga.. Kadiri daw sabi niya.. hahah!!!
Then I heard the girl that he was inviting Joy to spend the whole night in their house. Woah! Lakas ah! hahah..... Well, since its been 6 years since we broke up, of course he had meet a lotta gurls, right? He encountered diff. gurls..... And I can say that he had changed.. OH SO CHANGED!

When we were still together, well, I can see to him that he was so conservative.. Never ever said any bad words, too. But from what Ive heard kanina sa usapan nila and the way they treat each other.. Its like........... EEEUUUUUUUUUWWWWWWWWWWWW............ Hahaha!!!!!!!!!!

2 minutes more....

Anyway, change topic...

I miss myself... hahah!! the young LEN..... mmmmmm........ But I never changed naman eh.. ako pa rin si Sweet, baby, bunso LENNY...... heheheh.

1 minute left...

Miss you pyar!

Kuya Lance! Thanks for chatting.. kahit papano.. hehehe.. Miss you so much kuya! When I have a chance to go there, I will search for you!! haha.. makikitira ako! just kidding.. :D

mwah!

~out~

Dito ko sa ICT ngayon.. ayon.. magkatext kame ni pyar ngayon.. nasa labas siya ngayon.. haay..... mmmm.... andito sa may likod ko ang napaka "loving" ex bf ko.. naglalaro ng Flyff...

hay.. la lang. gusto ko magkuwento ng tungkol sa bday ko..

medyo okay lang yung mismong day ng araw ko. medyo badtrip kasi nag away kame ni christian.. pero naging okay na rin naman dahil kinausap kame and okay na nga... ayon.. tapos okay din kasi maganda ang CSAT ko.. naka 100 ako!!! :) after ng napaka tagal kong walang survey, naka 100 na rin ako sa wakas!! wahahaha!!!!

Wednesday, kahapon, ayun, sinundo ako ni Pyar sa IBM.. :) ang saya ko nga eh. :) hehehe.. tapos ayun. ang cute cute mo talaga!!! hehehe.. ang bango pa! i wore the one that he likes me to wear.. oh diba para maging crush na rin niya ko. hehehe.. tapos ayun nung nakadating na kame sa bahay eh tamang kwentuhan lang. hintay ng pagkain.. tapos kain na rin.. pareho kameng inaantok pa.. pero ayun, nakayanan pa rin namen. tamang kwentuhan.. asaran.. heheh.. tukso niya ko ng JOPAY dahil napakalaki ng hita ko. ah wawa.. :( ayun.. mag da diet na talaga ako...

haaaaaayyyy...... kiss niya ko!! heheheh.. pero sa cheek lang.. :) heheheh.. dami tao sa bahay eh, di pede.. :) heheheh....

he gave me a present!!!! CD ng taking back sunday! sweet... pati si Pedro binigyan din ako.. aaaah, you guys are so sweet!!! :) love you all!!! :)

sobrang antok ko at pagkauwi ni Pyar, tulog ako sa room... ayun.. mayamaya ang dami ng tao sa bahay.. etong bestfriend ko, ginulo ako bigla sa room!! kinikiliti ako sobra!!!! haaay.. ayun pagka kain nilang lahat, bili na kame sa 7 11 ng Matador (requested by my sis) .. ayun, 2 ang binili namen.. tapos si Oto, bumili ng kanya , 2 san mig.

grabe! nahilo ako sobra at nalasing!! haaaaaaayyy.... ayun... pagkauwi nilang lahat eh nakatulog na ko sa sala.. ang aga ko nga nagising eh! 6:30.. haaay!!! sakit sa ulo.. at wala na ko matandaan kung ano na ang nangyari kagabi pagkatapos ng inuman. o diba??... ganun pala talaga feeling nun noh.. ayun.. sakit pa rin ng ulo ko grabe.. nasusuka na nga ako eh..

sana dumating si pyar dito. sabi niya kasi uuwi na siya.. :( hay ang sad ko.. haaaaayyy!!!!!!!

nasusuka na talaga ako.. goodluck sa kin mya pag uwi ko. nag text na rin si ate ko eh, sabay kame uwi.. hay nako...

im still waiting for Pyar.. sana dumating pa rin siya.. :(

ang sweet naman netong nasa likod ko.. kainis!

haay.. gusto ko pa mag type dito.. wala lang tumatakbo sa utak ko.. nasakit pa sikmura ko. ang sakit din ng ulo ko. hang over.. good luck din sa kin sa trabaho ko bukas potek!!!!!

haaay.. buti nagustuhan nila nay at ninang yung dala ko na food. :) hehehe..

mukhang hindi na makakadating si pyar ah.. nahihilo na ko. nasusuka pa. hay nako!

kinig lang ako ng MAKEDAMNSURE sa youtube.. hay....

~out~

Hi there! :) bday ko na bukas! hahah!!!! ang tanda ko na.. isip bata pa rin.. hahaha.... :)

mwah!

haay.. kinakabahan ako sa chat ngayon.. kainis.. sana wala akong maging irrate member.. have to go! 8pm na! :)

hi there guys! hahah!!! malapit na bday ko! wahahah!!! ang tanda ko na! hay nako.. ang baba na naman ng Month to date ko na score badtrip! mya i a attach ko yung mga chats ko dito .. :) mwah!

kakakausap ko pa lang kay Pyar kanina.. wala lang. kulitan lang dahil sa weird na email address niya. ang kulit kasi eh, pinapabasa sa kin eh hindi ko naman talaga kayang basahin kasi nakakatuwa! hahahah... :) gagawa rin ako ng weird email address! hmp! :)

hay nako.. sana maging okay ang bday ko.. hay! miss ko na si Maggie, si Nil, si Michelle.. mga bestfriends ko.. Syempre miss ko rin si Jem at Gela... :)

hay......

o xa, gagawa pa ko ng template netong blog! :)

~out~

just get done with my computer set up... I was texting Pyar kanina but he's not replying. Kinda frustrated.. ewan.. well, mark did text me.. hay! maybe when he read this post again, he'll say na PINAGSISIKSIKAN MO NA NAMAN SARILI MO SA KANYA.. what the hell! i aint pushing myself to Joey! I hate it! Is there a law saying that you cannot tell or express your feelings to your special one??

Come on! Just tell me.. youre just jealous!

you know what, I was about to "love" you again.. but then.... you were pushing me too to Joey! Then Joey pushing me to you! THE FUCK! Why are you people like that! Do you have any problems with me? If you dont love me, just tell it to my face then I'll stop bugging you guys!

My birthday is getting nearer... Gawd! Days gone so fast!

I am too old for this kind of stuff! I want to be more mature! You know MORE .. MORE MATURE!!!!!!

Well, all I can say is...... Yah, I am still in love with Pyar..yah! right!!!! I am ......But not hoping he'll love me back. Yeah, I know..... I'tll never happen.. It'll never be... (BITTER)

Shit! One minute left..

Love yah pyar!

mwah!

~out~