guys.. i wanna share this letter came from my kababata... she's my first ever bestfriend..
may kuwento kami nyan sa buhay.. sobrang dami.. nag away na, nag plastikan, nagka iyakan... pero alam niyo yon, nandon pa pala yung love niyo sa isat-isa...
i miss her so much.....
hi!grabe miss na kita..dami nangyari dis days na di maganda..I'm so sad.Naalala 2loy kita.
dami kac problema sa friends, di ko makwento eh naiiyak nanaman ako,la me masabihan kac la ka kya kay mommy nlang ako umiyak,i felt so alone,pero naicp ko na after all this years na naghahanap ako ng true friend nagbubulagbulagan lang ako kac jan ka naman.Tanga lag tlaga ko. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko kac di ako masyadong naging mabait na friend sa yo.Stupid tlaga ko.Masyado kac me nagtiwala sa iba pero ang 22o nasa harapan ko na ung mga tao na willing akong i-accept no matter what... hope it's not too late to tell u this.."i'm so lucky to have u..i'm so sori kung di kita masyado binigyan ng special treatment.sori kung maraming beses na nahurt kita,sori kac di ko nabigay ung trust na dapat tlaga sayo ko lang binigay. I feel so empty becoz of this things...sana di pa huli na maging friends tayo..ung 2lad dati..ngayon ko lang narealized lahat..I feel so tanga!Sana makausap na kita,sembrea k na di ba hope we cud find time to talk, miss ko na ung 22ong ako, ung simpleng maggie na kasama ung bestfriend nia na payatot..si Len2.. natinurn-down ko. I miss those times na magbi2gay ako ng letters na corny..ung mga secrets natin, enemies..crushes..1st love..mga awayan natin..tampuhan..ung palakpak na sign natin na lalabas na tayo para maglaro..syempre...ung tawanan natin na feeling natin tayo na ang pinaka masayang tao sa mundo..ung mga usapan ntin na tayo lang nakakaalam tipong out of dis world..haay..I feel like crying...Nagsisisi lang me kac feeling ko sinayang ko friendship natin dahil cguro nagbago tlaga ko,nagbago ng view,nagbago ng friends..pero in d end ikaw parin naiicp ko pag tinatanong ko sa sarili ko kung cno ang bestfriend ko..ung 22o na bestfriend..meaning tatanggapin ka tlaga ng buong-buo..can't help it..naiyak na 2loy ako..sori for all the wrong things i've done..i feel so alone.but when i think of u napapangiti ako pero nagsisisi parin..sana di na k ita inaway dati,sana di nako naghanap ng ibang bestfriend,sana di na kayo lumipat ng haus,sana di na tayo lumaki,sana di na ko nagbago......haay..dis is so hard..miss na kita!!! I want you to know na in reality ur still my bestfriend, selfish lang ako dati pero nagising na ko, I've learned my lesson... Hope ur still there to accept me without conditions... I still love u friend! Thanks for being there 4 me..I so lucky to have you...Thanks alot! thanks for always listening to me.thanks tlaga...can't wait to see you..bye!love yah!....
*remember this song??
don't nid d sun 2 shine to make me smile
don't care if it's dark outside coz i've got you
sori kung medyo kaduling ung color..
10/17/2003
10/08/2003
the only song in my head..............................
Title: Maybe
Artist: Neo Colours
Revived: King
There I was
Waiting for a chance
Hoping that you'll understand
The things I wanna say
As my love went stronger than before
I wanna see you more and more
But you closed your door
Why don't you try
To open up your heart
I won't take so much of your time
CHORUS:
Maybe, it's wrong to say please love me too
'Cause I know you'll never do
Somebody else is waiting there inside for you
Maybe it's wrong to love you more each day
'Cause I know he's here to stay
But I know to whom you should belong
I believed what you said to me
We should set each other free
That's how you want it to be
But my love went stronger than before
I wanna see you more and more
But you closed your door
Why don't you try to open up your heart
I won't take so much of your time
CHORUS:
Maybe, it's wrong to say please love me too
'Cause I know you'll never do
Somebody else is waiting there inside for you
Maybe it's wrong to love you more each day
'Cause I know he's here to stay
But my love is strong
I don't know if this is wrong
But I know to whom you should belong
(Instrumental)
CHORUS:
Maybe, it's wrong to say please love me too
'Cause I know you'll never do
Somebody else is waiting there inside for you
Maybe it's wrong to love you more each day
'Cause I know he's here to stay
But my love is strong
I don't know if this is wrong
But I know to whom you should belong
Title: Maybe
Artist: Neo Colours
Revived: King
There I was
Waiting for a chance
Hoping that you'll understand
The things I wanna say
As my love went stronger than before
I wanna see you more and more
But you closed your door
Why don't you try
To open up your heart
I won't take so much of your time
CHORUS:
Maybe, it's wrong to say please love me too
'Cause I know you'll never do
Somebody else is waiting there inside for you
Maybe it's wrong to love you more each day
'Cause I know he's here to stay
But I know to whom you should belong
I believed what you said to me
We should set each other free
That's how you want it to be
But my love went stronger than before
I wanna see you more and more
But you closed your door
Why don't you try to open up your heart
I won't take so much of your time
CHORUS:
Maybe, it's wrong to say please love me too
'Cause I know you'll never do
Somebody else is waiting there inside for you
Maybe it's wrong to love you more each day
'Cause I know he's here to stay
But my love is strong
I don't know if this is wrong
But I know to whom you should belong
(Instrumental)
CHORUS:
Maybe, it's wrong to say please love me too
'Cause I know you'll never do
Somebody else is waiting there inside for you
Maybe it's wrong to love you more each day
'Cause I know he's here to stay
But my love is strong
I don't know if this is wrong
But I know to whom you should belong
10/07/2003
10/06/2003
Guys.. sana hindi nag bago ang pagtingin niyo sa kin ah...... medyo ilang ako sa sarili ko ngayon and i want some changes........
i typed that note at my home... i just "copy,paste" it at my blog....
guys..... nakakahiya talaga... but like what george and abbie said to abbie's tagboard, "who cares diba?" ako ang may ari nang blog na to and i have the rights to say what i wanna........................
guys................... ain't it funny?? ive been addicted?? but i want it.. and i cant forget what he said..... i ve a foolish heart...... and maybe its wrong to say "please love me,too coz i know NO BODY'S PERFECT"....................
TAH-TAH!!!!!!!!!!!
~^_^~
i typed that note at my home... i just "copy,paste" it at my blog....
guys..... nakakahiya talaga... but like what george and abbie said to abbie's tagboard, "who cares diba?" ako ang may ari nang blog na to and i have the rights to say what i wanna........................
guys................... ain't it funny?? ive been addicted?? but i want it.. and i cant forget what he said..... i ve a foolish heart...... and maybe its wrong to say "please love me,too coz i know NO BODY'S PERFECT"....................
TAH-TAH!!!!!!!!!!!
~^_^~
since abbie jez said what she wanted to say.. ako rin... sana guys, hindi mag iba yung pagtingin niyo sakin after you read this.......
"im beautiful no matter what they say..words can't bring me down..........."
haaayy...eto ang tugtog ngayon sa kuwarto ko while im reminscing again..... tanga ko noh?? i told myself to move on but still i can't do it.... ope u understand why i can't forget what Alex brought to my life.... he made me "real"...... he made me let things go on and face it with no fear.......
masakit isipin na kung sino pa yung taong ipinaglaban ko sa maraming galit na tao sa kanya ay yun pa ang magdadala ng sakit sa buhay ko........... matagal tagal din pala akong nag pakatanga....... pero sabi naman niya, hindi raw niya ako pinag lalaruan..yah sure.....pero i feel i've been used!! para kasing hinayaan niya munang mahulog ako sa kanya.... well, i think, eto na yung karma sa kin... pero sana bumalik na sa kanya yun! Sabi ni Ben sa kin last night na masyado kasing nag feeling si Alex kaya iniwan siya ni Rovi..well, i can say that Rovi is smarter than me.....tama nga siya....... ako, tanga!totoo naman eh.......... kung alam ko lang na ganun si Alex..sana naniwala na ako dati pa sa kanila na Alex is DUMB! nagbulag-bulagan ako dati.... i was so stupid being deaf to all the things they said about Alex.... eh mahal ko kasi eh....wala akong magagawa.... till 2 months had passed........... i let myself stucked to alex.. i even forgot being with my own bestfriend Abbie bezy.....nagtatampo na pala siya, hindi ko pa alam..... nagpakatanga kasi ako sa isang Tanga ring Tao!!!! sana yung mga panahong iginugol ko sa kanya, sana nasayang ko na lang yun para sa sarili ko......... biruin mo, nagpakatanga ako na kapag may kailangan siya, kakain ng lunch, tatakbo ako sa canteen para samahan siya! tapos kapag may problem siya, sino ang tinatakbuhan niya?ako lang naman sa tropa eh......so who do you think who've been used here?? ewan... basta ako, wala akong naging pag kukulang! sabihin na nating may nagugustuhan akong ibang guy, yah, kinikilig ako...pero not to the point that i'll let my heart fall for that guy! the heck! siyempre, may "alex" na ako eh................at alam ko na hihintayin niya ako........
at dun naman sa issue sa min dati na sinabi ni Alex sa kin na "hindi niya alam kung ginagamit ko lang siya", what the!?! hello alex?? kung feeling mo ginagamit kita, ba't ako nagpapakatanga sa yo nang ganito??? kung ang ibig sabihin mo sa "ginagamit" kita dahil parang hindi mo ma-distinguish kung may feelings pa ko sayo, like hello, i was only challenging you!!!!!!and i was only waiting for the perfect time! pero, leche, that "perfect time" always pass many times sa buhay natin pero you didn't let it happen!!!!you didn't propose!
so sino sa atin ngayon ang nang gamit??? ako na totoo sayo? o yung hinayaan mong mahulog muna ako sayo bago no ko iwan???sino sa tin??????ha?ha?ha? :,{
tska alam niyo, bakit ganon?kapag minsan na malamig ako sa kanya, hindi man lang siya nagatatanong kung anong problema ko.....well, minsan kasi kaya ako tahimik, minsan nagsasawa na ko sa mga nangyayari..sa tangahali, sabay sa pag kain, sa gabi, kasin ng dinner tapos usap sa ibaba nang dorm ko.... so, kahit gusto ko na siyang sagutin, pano ko magagawa?eh walang perfect moment dun!!!!!!
i told my tropa that im gonna have my bf after 2 yrs.... pinaniwala ko ang sarili ko na kaya ko............. pero i was only waiting for Alex to propose para matahimik na ang loob ko..pero hindi niya ginawa yun!
pero okay lang........ hindi naman ako nagsisisi kung hindi kami nag karoon ng relasyon, mas maganda pa nga yun eh....... at isa pa, hindi naman siya ng pino problema ko, kung di yung mga oras at panahon na nasayang ko at sacrifices na ibinigay ko sa kanya. yah i know he also gave many efforst and wasted his time for me....pero sino kaya ang mas apektado?
i know you don't care about me anymore!so do i!!!!!!i don't care kung ligawan mo yung babae na yon! alam ko namang iiwan mo rin siya afterwards eh! gaya nang ginawa mo sa kin!
well, si Alex............... hindi ko alam kung tama pa ba ang pag iisip niya.......... basta ako, im gonna be a NEW LEN starting now!!!!! i will let things that reminds me of Alex to be erase in my mind........... kung baga, new len, new memories, new life.......
kung dati, ginusto kong mawala si Ben sa kin, nagawa ko....... yah, nakalimutan ko siya........... pero hindi rin madali yun..... hanggang sa dumating si Alex sa buhay ko na isa ring naka tulong para makalimutan ko si Ben. sana ngayon, makalimutan ko si ALex, mas madali at yung makakalimutan ko siya nang walang guy na involve............... i hope i could survive!
sabi ni mark(my best adviser), hindi naman siya worth it...yung isipin ko siya every minute.... oo nga, i realized, bakit ko siya iisipin kung alam ko namang hindi ako ang iniisip niya!
well, tanga na kung tanga! ganyan naman talaga ang buhay.... you can learn from your mistakes................ now, i wanna be a new lady......... with confidence from herself.........
for alex, sana masaya ka na ngayon.......... wala nang taong puwedeng sumakal sa mga gusto mong gawin.... you want to have freedom diba? of course you can have it.... wala namang pumipigil sayo eh...... hindi ka rin masasakal kung hindi mo ginusto.... parang ako, ginusto kong mahalin ka, kaya i deserve these things....... nasaktan ako, natauhan ko...........
maybe we are really not meant for each other......
hindi kita masisisi, gusto mo yan eh.... ginusto mong humarap sa katotohanan na walang kumo control syo.... sino ba naman ako para pigilan ka diba? kaya hindi na ko pumalag pa......
sayang ka......... sinayang mo ako..............................
mabuti na rin tong ganito... nangyari na kung anong dapat para sa atin.....
masaya na rin ako ngayon.........
alam kong nag papaka totoo ka lang and i'm happy for that...i know you're happy right now with out me at your side...
hayaan na lang natin ang mga nasulat ko dito...... inilabas ko lang ang sama nang loob ko eh......
now im done..... siguro naman, pwede na akong maging NEW LEN.........
mark, thanks for changing me ... for clearing the things that ruining my life.....
abbie, i know medyo napabayaan ko ang friendship natin........ pero ngayon, don't worry, nandito na ulit ako...........
george, i'm appreciating all of your efforts to the tropa.....
kuya lance, "like brothers, like sisters..." heheheh....... now i know what you and Ben were trying to say to me before......
im sorry guys...............
nandito na ulit ako...............
NEW LEN..........
[songs]
~maybe by KING
~loving you by NINA
~addicted by SIMPLE PLAN
~perfect by SIMPLE PLAN
~numb by LINKIN PARK
~have you ever by S CLUB
~waiting in vain
~before i let you go by FREESTYLE
~gone by WYRD
*************************************************
"im beautiful no matter what they say..words can't bring me down..........."
haaayy...eto ang tugtog ngayon sa kuwarto ko while im reminscing again..... tanga ko noh?? i told myself to move on but still i can't do it.... ope u understand why i can't forget what Alex brought to my life.... he made me "real"...... he made me let things go on and face it with no fear.......
masakit isipin na kung sino pa yung taong ipinaglaban ko sa maraming galit na tao sa kanya ay yun pa ang magdadala ng sakit sa buhay ko........... matagal tagal din pala akong nag pakatanga....... pero sabi naman niya, hindi raw niya ako pinag lalaruan..yah sure.....pero i feel i've been used!! para kasing hinayaan niya munang mahulog ako sa kanya.... well, i think, eto na yung karma sa kin... pero sana bumalik na sa kanya yun! Sabi ni Ben sa kin last night na masyado kasing nag feeling si Alex kaya iniwan siya ni Rovi..well, i can say that Rovi is smarter than me.....tama nga siya....... ako, tanga!totoo naman eh.......... kung alam ko lang na ganun si Alex..sana naniwala na ako dati pa sa kanila na Alex is DUMB! nagbulag-bulagan ako dati.... i was so stupid being deaf to all the things they said about Alex.... eh mahal ko kasi eh....wala akong magagawa.... till 2 months had passed........... i let myself stucked to alex.. i even forgot being with my own bestfriend Abbie bezy.....nagtatampo na pala siya, hindi ko pa alam..... nagpakatanga kasi ako sa isang Tanga ring Tao!!!! sana yung mga panahong iginugol ko sa kanya, sana nasayang ko na lang yun para sa sarili ko......... biruin mo, nagpakatanga ako na kapag may kailangan siya, kakain ng lunch, tatakbo ako sa canteen para samahan siya! tapos kapag may problem siya, sino ang tinatakbuhan niya?ako lang naman sa tropa eh......so who do you think who've been used here?? ewan... basta ako, wala akong naging pag kukulang! sabihin na nating may nagugustuhan akong ibang guy, yah, kinikilig ako...pero not to the point that i'll let my heart fall for that guy! the heck! siyempre, may "alex" na ako eh................at alam ko na hihintayin niya ako........
at dun naman sa issue sa min dati na sinabi ni Alex sa kin na "hindi niya alam kung ginagamit ko lang siya", what the!?! hello alex?? kung feeling mo ginagamit kita, ba't ako nagpapakatanga sa yo nang ganito??? kung ang ibig sabihin mo sa "ginagamit" kita dahil parang hindi mo ma-distinguish kung may feelings pa ko sayo, like hello, i was only challenging you!!!!!!and i was only waiting for the perfect time! pero, leche, that "perfect time" always pass many times sa buhay natin pero you didn't let it happen!!!!you didn't propose!
so sino sa atin ngayon ang nang gamit??? ako na totoo sayo? o yung hinayaan mong mahulog muna ako sayo bago no ko iwan???sino sa tin??????ha?ha?ha? :,{
tska alam niyo, bakit ganon?kapag minsan na malamig ako sa kanya, hindi man lang siya nagatatanong kung anong problema ko.....well, minsan kasi kaya ako tahimik, minsan nagsasawa na ko sa mga nangyayari..sa tangahali, sabay sa pag kain, sa gabi, kasin ng dinner tapos usap sa ibaba nang dorm ko.... so, kahit gusto ko na siyang sagutin, pano ko magagawa?eh walang perfect moment dun!!!!!!
i told my tropa that im gonna have my bf after 2 yrs.... pinaniwala ko ang sarili ko na kaya ko............. pero i was only waiting for Alex to propose para matahimik na ang loob ko..pero hindi niya ginawa yun!
pero okay lang........ hindi naman ako nagsisisi kung hindi kami nag karoon ng relasyon, mas maganda pa nga yun eh....... at isa pa, hindi naman siya ng pino problema ko, kung di yung mga oras at panahon na nasayang ko at sacrifices na ibinigay ko sa kanya. yah i know he also gave many efforst and wasted his time for me....pero sino kaya ang mas apektado?
i know you don't care about me anymore!so do i!!!!!!i don't care kung ligawan mo yung babae na yon! alam ko namang iiwan mo rin siya afterwards eh! gaya nang ginawa mo sa kin!
well, si Alex............... hindi ko alam kung tama pa ba ang pag iisip niya.......... basta ako, im gonna be a NEW LEN starting now!!!!! i will let things that reminds me of Alex to be erase in my mind........... kung baga, new len, new memories, new life.......
kung dati, ginusto kong mawala si Ben sa kin, nagawa ko....... yah, nakalimutan ko siya........... pero hindi rin madali yun..... hanggang sa dumating si Alex sa buhay ko na isa ring naka tulong para makalimutan ko si Ben. sana ngayon, makalimutan ko si ALex, mas madali at yung makakalimutan ko siya nang walang guy na involve............... i hope i could survive!
sabi ni mark(my best adviser), hindi naman siya worth it...yung isipin ko siya every minute.... oo nga, i realized, bakit ko siya iisipin kung alam ko namang hindi ako ang iniisip niya!
well, tanga na kung tanga! ganyan naman talaga ang buhay.... you can learn from your mistakes................ now, i wanna be a new lady......... with confidence from herself.........
for alex, sana masaya ka na ngayon.......... wala nang taong puwedeng sumakal sa mga gusto mong gawin.... you want to have freedom diba? of course you can have it.... wala namang pumipigil sayo eh...... hindi ka rin masasakal kung hindi mo ginusto.... parang ako, ginusto kong mahalin ka, kaya i deserve these things....... nasaktan ako, natauhan ko...........
maybe we are really not meant for each other......
hindi kita masisisi, gusto mo yan eh.... ginusto mong humarap sa katotohanan na walang kumo control syo.... sino ba naman ako para pigilan ka diba? kaya hindi na ko pumalag pa......
sayang ka......... sinayang mo ako..............................
mabuti na rin tong ganito... nangyari na kung anong dapat para sa atin.....
masaya na rin ako ngayon.........
alam kong nag papaka totoo ka lang and i'm happy for that...i know you're happy right now with out me at your side...
hayaan na lang natin ang mga nasulat ko dito...... inilabas ko lang ang sama nang loob ko eh......
now im done..... siguro naman, pwede na akong maging NEW LEN.........
mark, thanks for changing me ... for clearing the things that ruining my life.....
abbie, i know medyo napabayaan ko ang friendship natin........ pero ngayon, don't worry, nandito na ulit ako...........
george, i'm appreciating all of your efforts to the tropa.....
kuya lance, "like brothers, like sisters..." heheheh....... now i know what you and Ben were trying to say to me before......
im sorry guys...............
nandito na ulit ako...............
NEW LEN..........
[songs]
~maybe by KING
~loving you by NINA
~addicted by SIMPLE PLAN
~perfect by SIMPLE PLAN
~numb by LINKIN PARK
~have you ever by S CLUB
~waiting in vain
~before i let you go by FREESTYLE
~gone by WYRD
*************************************************
10/01/2003
NCterian guys..........
guys, thanks for making me feel better...... but still i have this weird feeling of depression....... dunno y....... guys, specially abbie,mark and george, grabe, thaks so much kasi naintindihan niyo ako............. ewan ko... hindi lang naman guys ang pinoproblema ko, pati na rin ang Consti namin kasi long quiz namin ngayon.................well, i reviewed some stuff last night then ngayon, im here at Nebo.......
Guys, i wanna see myself being alone...... but i dont know how will it happen........ i want to spent more time alone but i know it will never gonna happen coz im scared being alone............
U guys duin great!
im gonna miss u guys.....................
~need some rest~
guys, thanks for making me feel better...... but still i have this weird feeling of depression....... dunno y....... guys, specially abbie,mark and george, grabe, thaks so much kasi naintindihan niyo ako............. ewan ko... hindi lang naman guys ang pinoproblema ko, pati na rin ang Consti namin kasi long quiz namin ngayon.................well, i reviewed some stuff last night then ngayon, im here at Nebo.......
Guys, i wanna see myself being alone...... but i dont know how will it happen........ i want to spent more time alone but i know it will never gonna happen coz im scared being alone............
U guys duin great!
im gonna miss u guys.....................
~need some rest~