Love. Life. Blog.

IDLE TIME
I'm here in the office,still waiting for another call .. its idle ... so i have more time to think, think, and more think of what should i do with my life .. I always read Abbie's blog ... yup, its so inspiring ... that little girl .. we used to be bestfriends.. and well, whatever happens, she will always be a part of my life ...

I wish I can be like Abbie, like Maggie-- my very bestfriend .... and all of the people who knows how to be optimistic ..... these two young women, will always tell me before, that I AM SO NEGA ...

Why cant I be like them ... enjoying life... worrying nothing ...

Why did I grow up like this ..
Why should I be born like this ..
Maybe we are all correct ... God has plans.. God made me like this because there might be a hidden reason ....
Well, I wish I would know immediately my reason for living ...
I am so upset right now ..
God forgive me for being like this ..
Im trying to control my anger .. but no one is helping me ..
I know You are there for me, for all of us .. and I know You will all tell us that we should trust ourselves..
but how will I ever trust myself if I dont know how to trust other people as well? :(
THINK.
THINK.
and DIE .
~out~